How to be Happy

     How to be happy is probably one of the top goals of people.  Unfortunately, only few can say that they truly are happy.  

    Why is happiness so evasive?

1. We are looking at the wrong direction.  Many acquaint happiness with money, but even the rich can't say they are content with life.  While money might not pose as a problem, other issues come into play, such as lack of love, attention and health, that all together contribute to one's gloomy state.  The truth is, happiness can't be bought.  Money may bring us what we need to have a comfortable lifestyle, but if we are too focused on acquiring monetary wealth, we tend to forget our families, health and other things that matter.  A wealthy friend once told me that it is difficult for him to trust friends because he feels that many take advantage of him because of his financial status.  In the end, he ends up feeling lonely with friends who are nothing but superficial and who are only there when he throws parties, and never to empathize with him.  

   Given these points, where do we look then?  I think one can achieve joy when he starts to care more about people he cares about.  Being at family gatherings or making time for these people and friends any time you get the chance can be a good start.  With people, relationships have to be built and these relationships aren't built overnight.  Don't make your job or the distance as an excuse why you can't see your parents.  Even though they are family, they need your attention and presence.  Do not bank on the idea that they will always be there no matter what because they won't.  They are people who get hurt and people who die.  It's just the course of things and you don't want it too be too late now, do we?  Unconsciously, you also need their support.  Nothing could be lonelier than having everything in the world, but without anyone to share it with.  

2. Always pleasing other people.  I would have to say that I know many who are in the pit of pleasing others.  They seem to have looked at making others happy as an obligation.  They study a certain course in college because it is what is expected of them or stay home as much as possible because the house needs cleaning.  Some settle for mediocre jobs just to be near their homes.  Most of the time, families are the hardest to please and the one we want to always please.  Sometimes we feel that nothing is ever enough.  Although family is important and we should listen to them when they give advice, you have to draw a line between decisions that they can influence and decisions that you alone must make.  If you are a grown up, then act like one.  Own your decisions.  Pleasing everyone might feel great, but you might just find yourself left behind.  

3.  Looking for someone to blame.  I guess it's naturally easier to point your fingers at others than to blame yourself, but to be honest, we have our selves to blame for many of our life's decisions.  Once you accept who is at fault, you begin to take action and change your strategy.  Blaming others will leave you idle and accepting that you are inhibited from achieving anything no matter what you do.  There's no such thing as fate nor luck.  I refuse to believe there is one or all our efforts would be futile.  

4.  Getting too dependent on technology.  Computers, tablets, smart phones and the television are great tools for us to get entertained, no doubt on that.  However, too much entertainment will lead us idle and lazy.  How many hours do you spend in front of the TV each day?  You could have spent that time with your brother or sister having fun outdoors or spending quality time with them.  While traveling to work or school, do you keep an appreciative eye on nature that you pass by or are your eyes fully focused on your phone, text messaging or calling or doing what-not?  I hate seeing people have coffee or dinner with me, but with less attention.  My sister rarely puts down her phone even when we're in a conversation. It's totally annoying!  When did we become a slave to technology? Well, that's what we are right now.... a slave.  It's funny because we complain about getting stressed and having no time for ourselves while we have just wasted time away by sitting idle and playing Candy Crush, Facebook and what else. 

5.  Forgetting nature.  I don't know about you, but I love nature and I feel less tense and more relaxed when I'm surrounded with trees, flowers or the beach.  The beach isn't near from where I live, so I spend some of my weekends tending a small, pretty garden near a patio, where I can relax during my free time. It's definitely rejuvenating.  Nothing beats fresh air.

6.  Being too independent.  When we were younger, our parents taught us to be independent, but I realized that being too independent can also have its drawbacks.  I'd have to keep reminding myself that "No man is an island." and so I can keep a friend or two close.  Talking to people you trust is also a great way to relieve all the negative energy in your body. Laughing with them allows blood to circulate better and making you less fatigued.  

7.  Not having a healthy hobby.  Playing computer games may be a hobby for some, but it's not at all healthy.  Do something healthy at least once a week.  How about planting a garden or swimming?  Playing tennis with friends or exercising?  Reading may be good for the brain, but do something extra that your body will benefit from.  Have a hobby that gets you around the house, the city or out of the country.  Travel if you can afford it!


8.  Not saving.  Because we recognize the importance of money, then it is important to save some.  Many feel unhappy because they don't have money to spend for their basic necessities, yet they are also not doing anything about it.  Saving should also be a hobby and done regularly --- say every pay day.  Save for the rainy days, save for retirement, save for travel next year.  Have a goal and reason for you to be saving to keep it more real.   Do you want to go to Italy next month to see the majestic ruins? Then, save!  


9.  Being pessimistic.  I'm probably one of the most pessimistic people I know.  It's just in my DNA, I would say, but I have recently tried to control it.  When you're pessimistic, you easily get stressed, develop insomnia and make a mountain out of a molehill.  All that are unnecessary and you're beating yourself up.  Give yourself a break and try to be happy.  Make a note on your mirror to smile or to shake the stress off.  When problem comes and it's out of your control, give it time to unravel itself.  Sooner or later, it's going to get less complicated as things become clearer with an open mind.  So, there's a problem.  Even if you go hysterical, there's still going to be a problem, so calm down and relax.

10. Not getting enough sleep and not taking care of your health.  I used to think that sleep is such a waste of time.  I wanted to do a ka-zillion of things and there just isn't enough time to do them.  I used to sleep at around 2 or 3 in the morning trying to get everything done.  However, without sleep, the body functions less efficiently and when that happens, you get less work done.  So sleep!  Add to that, drink plenty of water and fresh fruit juices. Don't go for sodas or fruit concentrates or powder.  They add nothing but sugar.  Even with water alone, you'll improve your skin appearance visibly and look younger.  Eat healthy with more fibrous fruits and vegetables than meat with cholesterol.  On many occasions,, we are what we eat. You get sick because you ate something you shouldn't.  So take better care of yourself now and enjoy a healthier, stronger and younger you!


   So, you see, happiness isn't just about one thing. It's a balance about the consequential things in life --- some of these things we find trivial, like pausing to enjoy nature or sleep sufficiently.  

   Why not give it a go?  Make this your little experiment and see how much improvement it gains you.  

   Good luck!